I am a living testimony that a person has on average 3-5 careers in their lifetime. Unfortunately, I have not yet retired and am sure that my personal number of careers will double the national average.
I used to be bitter about my career circumstance and blamed my husband, my major in undergraduate school, my parents, and of course, myself. I felt shame whenever friends and family would inquire into my current “projects”. But most of all, I was disappointed with myself in the sense that I have not been able to stay and grow in a company and career.
Reflecting on these negative feelings, I realized that I can either wallow in self pity or change my attitude toward myself and my circumstance. One thing I knew, if I don’t figure myself and know myself, no one can…or even will.
From that day of self reflection, and through various books and role models I have encountered, I can say that I am no longer bitter, angry, or resentful of my situation. In fact, I am actually at peace and content with my current situation. Don’t get me wrong. I am still the same individual who seeks excellence, creativity, and integrity in my work. My coworkers can tell you of my ambitious nature and natural inclination to lead groups and take on, and complete projects. And, if my boss were to offer me a raise and a management role, I am all for it.
For those who have frequently changed jobs and careers, realize that there is no shame in changing your career path. The shame, or other negative feelings you feel, is created by yourself. That which you create yourself, can be changed. Some of the reasons why we are so critical of ourselves is because of the expectations we set upon ourselves, expectations that we create based on the messages we receive from our schools, parents, external family members, and cultural values to name a few.
“What do you mean Wendy? You are just confusing me!”
Well, to give you an example, recall back when you were a youngling and your parent or teacher asks you what you want to be. To that you answer, “I want to be a lawyer,…no, a doctor, a teacher!!!” Notice that these are the people whom a child has the greatest opportunity of meeting at that age. Then your adult interrogator would exclaim to you that you cannot be all three at the same time, which in truth you can, and then forces you to make a choice. Take this incident, add this with the similar questions and responses you received in your life, along with the ideas you have watched on television, and the snapshots of people’s roles in history books. Is it any wonder why we can easily be critical of ourselves if we “fail” to find that one career?
So, if you are still looking for that “one career” that you can pursue for the rest of your life, you have a few options.
1. You can keep searching.
2. You can expand your definition of career into other arenas, such as personal development or spiritual growth.
3. You can do both.
Personally, I have chosen option number two. This is by no means the “better path” but it has certainly given me a sense of peace and purpose in my life. So, if anyone were to ask me where I am working at, to that I would respond, “Well, my lifetime career is myself, developmentally and spiritually”.
Many blessings and take care.
Wendy